Lux Radio Theater # 3 - A Miscellany of Mostly Made Up Facts

I've been slowly making my way through the vast archive of Lux Radio Theater episodes and now, having listened to the existing shows from 1936 to 1939 I thought I would share with you some of what I've learned about Hollywood's top stars. In these early episodes, often the most interesting moments are the banal chats with either the Hollywood insider of the week or the stars of the play itself. Invariably during the heavily scripted banter we end up learning some minor fact about the lives of our Hollywood idols, and here, in all their sordid glory are a collection of the most trivial! Now, I'm in no way implying that any of these fascinating facts have any basis in reality or truth. Some are obviously studio propaganda, but some could be true. However, they struck me as either entertaining, stupid or just plain odd. Some of these titbits are interesting if you read between the lines, as they tell you a lot about what the studios wanted the public to think about particular stars, whilst others tell you absolutely nothing whatsoever. There are two stars that, based on the sheer volume of implausible (and the occasional plausible) facts given I've had to reduce their presence. The first is Errol Flynn, who I've included based on a few of the more obviously preposterous facts, while ignoring the many fictions given about his colourful life before movies. I'm not getting into that mine field of half truths, thank you very much. The other is Cecil B. DeMille, who if we are to believe him, invented everything, discovered everyone and inspired the making of every great moment in cinematic history. He may be right, but after a while it gets a bit tiresome, so he's been cut out. Anyway, here's the first instalment of interesting facts, a sort of "Everything I Wanted to Know about Hollywood I Learned from the Lux Radio Theater"

Lily Pons has the smallest shoes in Hollywood, size one and a half. She also has a village in Maryland named after her

Adolphe Menjou has a parrot that speaks English, French and Italian

Dolores Del Rio has never seen a football game

Shirley Temple’s life insurance policy is void if she takes up arms in defence of her country or if she meets death due to intoxication

Lionel Barrymore invented the moveable microphone

Ruth Chatterton sponsors air derbies

Warner Baxter’s appendix is on his left side instead of the right

Robert Montgomery carries on a perpetual game of backgammon with Frank Morgan

Edward G. Robinson can put an egg in his mouth and turn a hand spring without cracking the shell

Cecil B. DeMille is the landlord of the famous Brown Derby restaurant

Grace Moore is writing a book of international recipes

Clark Gable and Spencer Tracy never need to wear make up on the screen due to their natural tans

Ida Lupino prefers to wear sneakers and is an excellent mimic. The Los Angeles Philharmonic Orchestra have played her music

James Stewart is the owner of over 30 stray cats, who were attracted to him by his accordion playing

Victor McLaughlan has a sports stadium, drills and manages a troop of two thousand horsemen and sponsors a championship group of motorcycle riders

Charles Ruggles is a dog fancier

Errol Flynn was a member of the 1928 British Olympic boxing team

Reginald Denny designs and markets model aeroplanes

Ginger Rogers has installed a soda fountain in her home. She also likes roller-skating, knitting and saving old wrapping paper

Barbara Stanwyck paid for her stable boy’s wedding and danced there all night

Cecil B. DeMille started the first commercial passenger airline

According to studio trainers, the best boxers in Hollywood are Gary Cooper, George Raft, Sir Guy Standing, Jack Oakie and Ida Lupino

Joe E. Brown is spending a month being a radio announcer for the Chicago Cubs and has a sports column for the Los Angeles Examiner

Errol Flynn is a Dublin born globetrotter who first saw a Douglas Fairbanks film while at school in Ireland

Although he became movie star, Robert Taylor still regularly attends medical lectures as his father was a doctor who wanted him to go into medicine

Hollywood's most avid collectors of handkerchiefs are Leslie Howard, Merle Oberon, Joan Blondell, Jeanette MacDonald, Gracie Allen and Tyrone Power, who prefers silk ones

Fred MacMurray has given up the saxophone and now practises target shooting

Now, isn't your life more complete now that you know all that stuff about your favourite star? And personally I really hope that the James Stewart one was true...

Lux Radio Theater # 2 - So You Want to Be a Movie Star?

Make Me a Star (1932)

One of the underlying themes of the Lux Radio Theater is that of Hollywood as a shaper of dreams. As well as selling cakes of soap, the program makers are also selling the idea of Hollywood as the place to look towards for glamour, fashion, fame and fortune. Even the adverts for Lux throughout the show take the form of the weekly adventures of some unnamed starlets on the studio back lot discussing why they don’t have skin as smooth as Carole Lombard’s (Hint: it’s got something to do with Lux). The various Hollywood experts and insiders that appear on the show not only give a glimpse behind the curtain but also give advice, on everything from next season’s fashions to, in this case how to break into acting. So, if you’ve ever wanted to find out whether you would have had what it took to become a star in the Hollywood of 1936, here’s your chance… On the July 27th episode (Chained starring Joan Crawford and Franchot Tone), host Cecil B. DeMille interviews the dramatic coach for MGM studios, Oliver Hinsdale and asks the immortal question, “How can I get into the movies?” Mr Hinsdale starts off by advising the prospective starlet to get some theater experience and to “live without food” in the quest to give your all to the dramatic arts. He then gives his formula for success in movie acting: An actor should have “imagination, idealism, sincerity, knowledge of life, a true love of mankind and a good appearance”. He goes on: “The aspiring actor must have a broad vision and understanding, a cultivated mind, he should know of history, literature, painting, sculpture, music. He should know his Bible. His body must be healthy, active and respond to his bidding. (He should have) a fine clear complexion which denotes health and vitality.” He then plugs Lux (well, it was in his contract) then continues: “You do not need to be beautiful. Marie Dressler and Wally Beery never won beauty contests. If you are beautiful don’t be misled into thinking that is all that is required to get into movies. The ranks of Hollywood’s unemployed are full of those with nothing but beauty. I’ve tested at least 100,000 young men and women for the screen…of these only 17 made the grade. Among them are Jean Parker, Robert Taylor, Irene Hervey, Martha Sleeper, Mary Carlisle, Robert Young, Betty Furness, Michael Whalen and Virginia Bruce.” He ends by apologizing if his advice has been overly negative but adds, “We always need talent. Your chance will come when you are ready and only then. Good luck” And with that the hopes and dreams of thousands of aspiring stars where forever crushed. The cries of “What, you mean it involves hard work!?” were at that moment heard throughout America and the collective youth of 1936 heaved a resigned sigh and went back to reading the stories about how Kay Francis wears her hats in Photoplay. It's interesting to think of how many actual stars in 1936 fitted the description given. I doubt John Barrymore or Errol Flynn had healthy bodies that responded to their bidding. And as for being well versed in the arts, well... So if you think you’ve got the qualifications to make in mid ‘30s Hollywood and have a time machine handy, be sure to read these words, and for goodness sake make sure you pack some Lux!

Lux Radio Theater - The All-American Beauty Team 1917-1937

I’ve recently been preparing an article on the Lux Radio Theater, the long running radio anthology that ran from 1934 to 1955 hosted for much of the run by Cecil B. DeMille. Specifically I’ve been listening to a lot of the early episodes (the ones available anyway) and recently came across an interesting piece of Hollywood fluff from the opening episode of the 1937/38 season, their adaptation of A Star is Born. As was usual on the show, Cecil B.DeMille would interview all manner of Hollywood insiders and back stagers on life in the movie colony, as a way of breaking up the drama into commercial friendly segments. As a result, all manner of people are interviewed: glove makers, talent scouts, continuity experts, historical researchers and gossip columnists to name a few. On this particular episode, DeMille interviews John LeRoy Johnston, the managing editor of Hollywood and Screen Book magazines. On a side note, these were apparently on the cheaper end of the magazine market and indulged in all manner of gossip and fabrication, and it’s quite surprising that they get a free plug on the show. Anyway, Mr Johnston decides to talk about his views on beauty and “the most beautiful women in motion pictures in twenty years (sic)”. He decides to list his all time favourites and when asked his basis and criteria for the list he replies, The typical American conception of beauty, by this I mean normal, charming finely chiseled features, clear expressive eyes, intelligence, poise, well…to be honest, loveliness. DeMille asks him what is best, the “old fashioned type of yesteryear or the athletic type of today?” He answers, I don’t think the American ideal of beauty has or will ever change. I think every man admires the lovely dainty feminine woman. If she’s truly beautiful she’ll look beautiful in crinoline or slacks. He then goes on to name his most beautiful women of the screen from 1917 to 1937, the “All American Team”. And without further ado, and in mostly chronological order, here they are...

Alice Joyce Corinne Griffith Clara Kimball Young Billie Dove

Mary Nolan Joan Crawford Janet Gaynor Jeanette MacDonald

Dolores Del Rio

Norma Shearer

Madeleine Carroll

After that he names his 2nd Team as: Anne Harding, Carole Lombard, Joan Bennett, Anita Louise, Madge Bellamy, Virginia Bruce, Mary Astor, Gloria Stuart, Olivia de Havilland, Mary Brian and Marla Shelton. Obviously the 2nd team is full of then-current actresses and is interesting in itself, (I had to look up Marla Shelton as I’d never heard of her) but the 1st team is a pretty fair survey of the previous twenty years from a guy close to the business. Perhaps the only person who perhaps shouldn’t normally be on the list is Janet Gaynor, not for a lack of beauty, but only because she was the star of the night’s play and Johnston probably felt she had to be on the list to avoid her losing face. Either that or it's an awfully lucky coincidence. It’s also an interesting list based on the ideals of beauty at the time, notably with DeMille’s mention of the current “athletic” look. At the time, and throughout the Lux show, they seem to be taking great pains to convince the listener that the stars of the day are fit and healthy, as they constantly detail the exercise regime every star has to go through daily. It comes across as one of many efforts to legitimize movie acting, and to attempt to convince people that Hollywood is no longer "Sin City". Johnston’s description of the American ideal of feminine beauty is also vaguely amusing, as the way he mentions clear eyes and poise he could as well be judging at a dog show… The list is also notable for who it misses out, but ultimately it’s one man’s opinion, and a brave one at that. Predictably Cecil B.DeMille wouldn’t be drawn as to his opinions of the choices, and personally I think I’ll keep most of mine to myself too...